Some posts from 2023

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you want me to do a confusion induction? uh yeah im not super good at those but i know one i can try (explains the plot and characters of umineko poorly over the course of 1 hour and doesnt even try to hypnotise you)

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choosing to interpret the verb "prog" in the context of making progress in difficult ff14 content as actually taking micronised bioidentical progesterone rectally and vice reversa

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my gf when i take my pants off in front of her for the first time or fucking whatever

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need a girl with a short skirt and a loooooooooooong reading list that shes drafting in my dms

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yuri of absence but it's because she blocks you

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the thing about ff14 is that its actually the most sexless game of all time. all of those people ERPing and making horny gposes and whatever are doing this in spite of the fact that anything even remotely horny the game does buffer overflows around to being sexless eiken-style

everyone being horny on ff14 or using ff14 clearly has the divine spark to see something i dont and theyre doing gods work by speaking it into reality but i am honestly a little scared of them because of that

of course (speaking as someone who likes ff14) the true enlightened take is that this is the case for every aspect of the game story/character-wise. you might be seeing things that are not there but that reveals its own kinds of beauty and joy. its not peak fiction though sorry

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playing ace attorney 1 while very fesh pince brained

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(girl who just installed and is running slsk for linux for the first time without knowing what it is) SoulseekQT? my soul sure does seek some cuties... (opens it and looks closely and realises its just music stuff) wait what the fuck is this

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why i like using cohost is that because of the lack of metrics visible to anyone, even your own metrics to yourself, i have way more time to fuck dykes

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happy 413 to those who celebrate! i already started celebrating by waking up next to a vriska kinnie who kissed cypro into my mouth (the 4 in 413 stands for forcefemming)

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lex in my city is fucking abyssal. i havent seen even a single post where someone talks, from either perspective, about being puppy. whats the fucking point

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coquette dragoon

(sourced from this tweet by @evangelainy)

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imagining sora kingdomhearts2finalmix reading someone's bio that has "antis dni!!" in it and de-equipping two become one before following them

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ok. thats enough talking about platonic forms. where are all the forms that suck and fuck

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two people who don't know they're trans yet touching dicks call that omelette du frottage

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imagine, if you will: girl who saw all the belts that lulu from final fantasy 10 wears and then does that but with chokers

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imagining a dom who quotes the second half of that "bitches be like i- i- wow- you- i-" post when their sub goes nonverbal

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she shouldve bought him an eyetoy and a copy of clumsy shumsy instead

(image sourced from this tweet by @KennyLauderdal3)

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the world does not give us dykes enough time to do anything. so many things i want to do and people i want to meet and spend time with and get closer to but i can never do all of it and whenever i am doing something i am acutely aware of time passing through my fingers like grains of sand. AND i have to sleep 8+ hours a night? fuck off

(this thought brought to you by "i want to stream my first kh2fm level 1 crit playthrough but also want to stream my first time playing evergrace and can't really do both")

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new type of software testing methodology: age regression testing. revert your code to a commit from a few years ago as a coping mechanism for being made to grow up too fast (being constantly iterated on unnecessarily due to agile software development methodology)

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solidarity between the works of art that turn people into machiavellian sex perverts

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me walking through a park and seeing a dog with a muzzle on it: heh, like from all the art with the women wearing them...

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soroxas is autoandrophilia

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contriving ways of "accidentally" tripping or dropping stuff on the first date and going "oh im so silly! clumsy shumsy!" to sniff out who the real eyetoyheads are

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PLEASE READ THIS POST ALOUD SO THAT YOU FULLY GET THE JOKE:

obviously lots of trans girls use arch or ubuntu or manjaro or whatever. it's all based on unix

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i simply think that i should experience as many of the kinds of love that exist as possible and express my love non stop and give it in as many ways as possible so that my soul will grow so huge and radiant that even after brain death i will never truly die. just so you know

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catgirls with zoomies be like hai purr

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had a weird nightmare: i sent the registry of births deaths and marriages a request to fix a small thing on my name change certificate. instead they interpreted it as a full name change and updated my last name to fucking. Homosesual. that isnt a typo btw. Homosesual. and i had to wait 12 months and then burn my last legal name change ever to remove that

it's so fucking dumb but like. imagine if that happened to you. you'd be fucking livid. and honestly i wouldnt put it past certain state's RBDMs to do that

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if you're a girl (or girl-adjacent thing) who can write glsl and you arent using your skills to write visualisers in order to hypnotise other women then what the fuck are you doing. its called open**_GL_** for fuck's sake!

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that "loading cum into my penis like a musket" tiktok is funny but what if it was for women
(remembers women have penises)
oh yeah
(writing "loading my gfs cum into her penis like a musket")
good but its missing something
(adds "and buddy im blowing both our brains out")
perfect.

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i wanna i wanna go ahhh

ahh ahhh i’m roatating free dart mokney every round in my midn its beautifiul

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was thinking about sonic underground and i couldn't remember the name of sonic's sister in that so im just going to call her yonic the hedgehog from now on

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girl who's a sub in an impact play scene but consciously goes out of her way to not seem like she's enjoying it too much because it would make her feel like decadus drakengard 3

do not be like her. kill the dito in your head!

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imagining one of those "my mum names (series) characters shes never seen before" videos except its "my friend/partner/whatever says what kinks (series) characters they only barely know would be in to"

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doing "bimboification" (it's just taking up someone's time in the evening so they can't read before bed anymore and they become slightly less articulate)

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"post-horror"? don't mind if i do (attaches image to tweet of my entire cock and balls)

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had a dream last night that @evangelainy was running a used book/dvd stall at a market & i picked up a book there that read the following:

Kung Pow: When They Cry IF
“Inspired by the sex scenes in the movie”

and the only author info was “(Heavily edited by) F Scott Fitzgerald”

and then i tried to ask her what the deal with it was and then she said she was busy and then i woke up

so now that im awake lainy what the fuck was the deal with that

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rewatching drakengard 3’s cutscenes because i want to write something about it and this appeared in my head

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xemnas during his ddd fight: "As your flesh bears the sigil, so your name shall be known as that of a Recusant."

me hearing "flesh bears the sigil" and getting so hard i get nauseous: i think im becouming a Heartless

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insul in the museum be like

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Item #: SCP-7XXX

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: N/A

Description: SCP-7XXX is a congitohazard that causes those affected to think that the solution to every problem is to make a new programming language for it, regardless of the problem’s type. As this is the correct response to encountering any problem, it’s fine, don’t worry about it

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me: i don't want to be greedy but... i want you to dote on me a lot today ok?
girl im seeing that plays ffxiv: ok \*creates a patch of corrupted earth, dealing damage with a potency of 80 to any enemies who enter\*

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no, the screenreader isn't constantly reading out "pane" as in the UI concept of a window pane. its reading out "pain" because so much of computer accessibility is an afterthought if it even exists at all that its experiencing pain on the user's behalf

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hypnodomme doug walker who really likes hypnotic amnesia and always introduces it with "ill remember this so you don't have to~"

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corruption kink play but its just making someone think the same silly inside jokes as you

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i need to start directing my time theft towards becoming gods strongest yuri soldier

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(to the tune of ff8's battle theme) pining and yearning and pining yearning